


Three Times Night Comes, and One Time it Doesn't (I'm sticking with this now fully intentional pun)

by bastanubis29



Series: The NATM Series I Never Intended to Write [2]
Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: 3 + 1, 3 times they fuck, Blowjobs, Cockwarming, F/M, I literally searched if the Egyptians removed the scrotum during mummification I want to commit, Missionary, Oral, PWP, Porn, Praise Kink, Soulmarks, Soulmate AU, This is just smut, a little intro to plot at the very end, actually, an attempt at comedy?, and 1 time they get caught, continuation of my last fic but can be read as a standalone, copious use of the word murmur, dirty talking, i break the fourth wall at least once, this is not what Rami Malek would want, wait til part three, watching porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:46:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21981616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bastanubis29/pseuds/bastanubis29
Summary: Ahkmenrah? Horny.You? Pretty much the same.[I am forced to look up the average penis size in Egypt for the sake of 'research'.]
Relationships: Ahkmenrah (Night at the Museum)/Reader
Series: The NATM Series I Never Intended to Write [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582081
Comments: 9
Kudos: 121





	Three Times Night Comes, and One Time it Doesn't (I'm sticking with this now fully intentional pun)

**Author's Note:**

> …  
> So, this happened. Now there's a half-formed plot in my head and I don't know exactly what I'm doing anymore, but whatever it is isn't affected by my writer's block, so I'm going for it.

It is times like these when you truly appreciate the lack of human-like exhibits at the British museum. When you’re on your knees, Ahkmenrah’s cock down your throat, it is nice to know that the chances of getting caught by someone who can express shock at your actions are slim to none.

Ahkmenrah pulls your hair gently to keep you moving, and you pull off his cock to take a breath, pressing a light kiss to the tip.

“Sweetheart,” he breathes, and you hold eye contact with him as you lick a stripe up the underside of his shaft.

His voice breaks into a moan of his native tongue as you swallow him down again. Focusing your tongue’s attention on the vein on the underside of his cock, your hands travel from his thighs to play with his balls. 

His hands tug at your hair again, this time in warning, and you pull off his cock again. You stroke him to completion, keeping your mouth open against the head of his cock to catch his cum.

Swallowing isn’t your favorite task in the world, but it’s worth it to see his eyes darken as they track the movement of your throat. You give him a moment to come down from the high before you are helping him put his robes back in place.

He leans down for a kiss, and you happily oblige, pulling away with a smile.

Almost as soon as you separate, Tilly rounds the corner, and you are swept up in conversation with her while one of Ahkemrah’s hands strokes your soulmark.

* * *

Much to your chagrin and Ahkmenrah’s amusement, he has eaten you out in almost every room in the museum. You made a joking comment that you needed to christen the entire museum, and your absolute dork of a soulmate took that as a literal challenge.

Most dangerous? The room that normally held the Egyptian statue on the first floor. The statue and Ahkmenrah were from different time periods, so there was no respect from it regarding Ahkmenrah and his family.

That night, Ahkmenrah had found some way to distract the statue and get it away from its room. As soon as you met your soulmate in the Great Court, he was tugging you down the hall by the hand, leading you to sit on a bench in the corner of the first floor Egyptian wing.

Hiking your skirt up to your hips, he moaned when he saw that you were wearing black lace panties.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Princess, is this for me?"

You smacked him in the head with your thigh, causing him to tear his gaze from your panties to your face.

“Don’t be an asshole,” you muttered. “Who the fuck else would it be for?”

“Just making sure,” he whispered, leaning up for a kiss.

You welcomed his tongue with open lips, losing yourself in the taste of him for a moment.

“No marks,” you whimpered when his lips drifted lower. “The kids on tours ask about them, and I’d rather not explain that the mummy they’re looking at gave me those last night.”

You felt him smirk against your collarbone. “Too late.”

“Fucking hell.”

He dipped back down to your panties, this time removing them completely. The cold air of the room caused your pussy to clench as it made contact with your clit. 

The press of Ahkmenrah’s hands on your thighs kept them quivering as he leaned closer. His breath was warm against your entrance, and your head rested with a thud against the wall behind you.

“Beautiful,” he whispered as he always does, dragging a finger through the moisture gathered at your entrance.

He is always gentle, and this time was no different. Pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh, his lips were gentle as they met your entrance.

His tongue lapped around your clit before entering you, pushing in as deep as it could go. He growled a bit at your taste, and the vibrations sent a flicker of warmth racing up your spine. He replaced his tongue with two of his fingers when he was satisfied with how wet you had become, curling them up to reach that spot inside of you that sent you hurtling toward orgasm, especially when he paired it with his tongue’s attention to your clit.

Fucking his fingers into you, Ahkmenrah lifted off of your pussy long enough to murmur “Come for me”.

Another minute of tonguing at your clit proved to get you just the next step closer to coming, but it wasn’t quite enough.

“Need more, babe,” you panted, and he slid another finger into you.

You tightened even more around his fingers, and as his tongue passed over your clit again, you were coming around his fingers. 

“That’s it, princess,” Ahkmenrah murmured, and lapped up your juices until you were shaking with overstimulation. 

He helped you step into your panties again, straightening your skirt and helping you stand. Almost as soon as you were presentable again, the Egyptian statue that lived(?) in the room returned, and you and Ahkmenrah rushed off to some other part of the museum, your legs still the tiniest bit shaky.

* * *

_ Thank god this room locks,  _ you think as you sink down onto Ahkmenrah’s cock, thighs straining at the angle. He hooks his chin over your shoulder as soon as you’re properly seated.

“So, what’s on the menu tonight?” he asks, eyes trained to the phone in your hand.

“Not sure. Figured it was your turn to pick,” you reply, trying to pass the phone to him.

“I quite like my hands where they are,” he thumbs at your nipples over your shirt, and you shudder.

Tightening around him, you both let out breathed curses.

“Ahk…”

“Sorry, sorry,” your soulmate murmurs, moving his hands to grip your waist, though one stays about your ribcage, stroking your soulmark. He presses a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Thoughts? Anything in particular you want to see?”

“Preferably something that we can relate to, though I understand our choices are a bit limited.”

“Yeah, not really any porn stars that look like us. Or, if there are, they don’t tend to fuck each other.”

You frown, scrolling through recommended videos. None of them look like anything that the two of you would enjoy together, and as willing as you were to indulge some of the kinks that Ahkmenrah had wanted to view, every dive into that left one or the both of you uncomfortable.

“We could read something, if you prefer?” you offer, already pulling up a fanfiction site on your phone.

Just out of curiosity, you search for your soulmate’s name, expecting to find nothing. Instead, you are greeted with 503 works with his name in them. Dumbfounded, you stare at the phone before bursting into laughter.

Your laughing causes your soulmate’s cock to shift inside you, now pressing insistently against your G-spot. You stop laughing immediately, shifting in his lap. “Fuck, bad spot. Not bad spot, good spot, but not right now.”

Ahkmenrah helps you adjust yourself, asking “What one Earth amused you that much?”

“Some people who’ve visited this museum, or the one in New York, I suppose,” you add, looking at some of the dates of the works, “have written fanfiction starring you.”

“You’re joking.”

“I wish I were. Oh, look. This one is porn; isn’t that lovely?”

“Sweetheart, if I weren’t inside you right now, I would leave.” He thrusts his hips up and you gasp, dropping your phone. 

“I was about to read that,” you say, gripping his arms as he continues. It’s not the greatest position in the world, and you’re about to suggest a position switch when Tilly knocks on the door.

“I know you guys are having your little movie night, or whatever, but there’s a problem with the Xiang Liu and I’m really in need of your majesty’s assistance.”

You sigh, climbing off of Ahkmenrah’s cock. “We’ll both be out in a second,” you call to your friend, and begin the labor of putting your clothes back on.

* * *

Ahkmenrah enjoys sex the most when he can see your face the entire time. For this reason, he prefers missionary to any other position, but also because he has some left over ‘man must be dominant’ programming from his lifetime in Egypt. 

To be honest, you don’t have penatrive sex as often as you wish you could. With the only places to fuck in the museum being the floor and the break room couch, the choices of position and comfort are limited. 

At this instance, you are on the break room couch, which you have christened many times over. Ahkmenrah is above you, hand on your soulmark. (He has a bit of an obsession with it, though, granted, from what you understand he had had his throughout his entire life in Egypt, and finally seeing his name on someone was probably a bit of a rush. (To be completely fair, you had traced the letters of your name on his skin with your tongue the night before, so you really didn’t have room to judge.)) 

“Princess,” Ahkmenrah murmurs as he unbuttons your shirt. “Missed you all day.”

“You were asleep,” you snipe, but allow him to kiss you.

His hands trail up your abdomen, cupping your breasts through your bra as his tongue probes your mouth. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you,” he sighs against your mouth. “Dreamed about you all day.”

You’re still not sure if what he spouts about ‘dreaming’ is bullshit, but you hold back the eyeroll you so desperately want to give. 

“Thought about your eyes,” he presses a kiss to your jawline. “How you smile at me; I don’t even want to see the sun anymore, just your face.”

You turn your head into the cushion, embarrassed. “Stop it.”

“Can’t. You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, and tries to move down your body.

“We don’t have time for that tonight,” you inform him.

“And whose fault is that?”

“Mine,” you mutter as he takes off your pants.

“That’s right,” he affirms as he removes his robes.

You can already see that he’s winding up for something, and you have a sneaking suspicion that you know what it is.

“You’re so beautiful,” he starts, and you sigh.

“I mean it. So beautiful, but especially beautiful when you’re begging for my cock.” His fingers dip into your entrance. “Will you beg for me tonight? You know I love it when you plead for me, all flushed like that. Maybe I won’t give you my cock tonight. Maybe I’ll use my mouth on you until you are shivering in pleasure, letting the whole museum know who undoes you.”

He decides that you’re adequately prepped, and presses the head of his cock against your entrance. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Like everyone knowing that you’re the only one who gets me like this; Can you feel how hard I am for you, princess?” He thrusts in in one smooth motion, and your legs wrap around his waist, holding him in place as you adjust to his girth.

“You’re so perfect for me; so wet and tight. My perfect little soulmate. So responsive to my touch,” his fingers brush your clit, and your back arches.

The rattle of the doorknob interrupts Ahkmenrah’s next sentence, and you stare in horror as Tilly enters the room. 

“Oh, bloody hell,” she yells, drawing the attention of anything in the museum that is close enough to come and see. “This is what you guys do in here?”

Ahkmenrah shields your body with his, but his royal ass is out and that fact will later cause you to laugh so hard that you cry. But now, you are incapable of doing anything but staring in horror as Tilly slowly backs out of the room, shutting the door with a “Good lord, at least make sure the door is locked before bumping uglies.”

Ahkmenrah turns back at you with a gleam in his eyes.

“Don’t even try it. Mood’s killed. Jesus, if I find out you’re an exhibitionist on top of everything else… You’re gonna kill me one of these days.” You snicker as he pulls out. “You’re an exhibit. Exhibitionist. Ironic.”

“Gods, please shut up before I wonder what made the gods decide to cast us together.”

You watch as he pulls his robes back on, trying to gather your clothes by touch alone. You redress, rolling your eyes when you notice that he’s managed to rip another pair of your panties.

“Beautiful,” Ahkmenrah murmurs, and you cuff him on the ear. 

“If I’m beautiful, that must make you ethereal.”

Ahkmenrah rolls his eyes at you, offering you his hand. “Oh, love,” he mutters. “What am I to do with you?”

_ Forget me, hopefully,  _ you think, but you take his hand and let him lead you out into the museum anyway.

Your expiring visa, and the subsequent end of your study abroad program, is just a fact of life. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Again, not going to apologize. I'm proud that it's done. Keep an eye out for part 1.5, 2.5, and 3. Bc there's now PLOT that I have to introduce between the porn.


End file.
